I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
