is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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