4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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