6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
