don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
