if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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