I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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