Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
