How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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