Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
