So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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