Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
