I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
