Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
