Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
