Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
