I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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