Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
