I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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