If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My bed smells like the plague
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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