he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize