I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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