you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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