You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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