I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
