I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
