I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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