My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
