I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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