i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
