Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
