Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
