No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize