You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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