We should be called the Road Head Warriors
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
