She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize