just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
