That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
