North Korea, Best Korea!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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