Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
