I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
