Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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