where am i from again
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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