This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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