didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
