my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
