So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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