worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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