i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
