Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
