he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
