is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
