you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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