I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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