Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
