I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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