We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
