Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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