If i come over, it means nothing
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
