i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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