addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there was a trapeze. enough said
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
