im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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