I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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