Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
