She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
